February 22, 2007
My Secret Sin
Confession time! Recently I've been convicted about a certain little sin of mine. Unless you know me really well this one might come as a surprise to you. I struggle with gluttony. I'm not sure if the bible actually specifically mentions it anywhere but I've been convicted about my uncontrolled eating habits. I know that they don't compare at all to other people's problems with food but it's still sin. Often I don't know how to stop eating before I'm quite full and if there are sweets or yummy carbs around it's almost impossible for me to say no. I think that the only real reason that I'm not fat is that I keep the sweets out of the house and try to avoid cooking high fat meals. I've found ways to avoid temptations but not ways to say no when temptations are in front of me. The problem is that food is everywhere. I can't make vegetable soup for dinner every night because my ultra skinny husband would waste away to nothing. I imagine that this is what lust is to some men. Somehow I need to win this battle and let the Spirit's fruit of self-control satisfy me instead.
There are a few problems that I see in this kind of behaviour. First, I'm not in control of myself; the appetite controls me. I want nothing to be my master besides God. Secondly, it's not good stewardship of God's resources. We has entrusted me with a certain amount of money and I am obligated to share that where ever I can. Eating more food then I need means that others can not eat instead. Thirdly, it just not healthy. As I get older my body is pushing to put on weight and I have to fight it.
I know that some people out there think that airing dirty underwear on ones blog is tacky but I've chosen to share this about myself because I know that others have this same problem and because I want people to know that I am real.
Posted by rose at February 22, 2007 09:23 PMRose,
hello - Our God blows me away. I was searching the net tonight to find the specific wording of Micah 6:8 and your blog came up. I have been struggling SO HORRIBLY with the problem of gluttony. Especially today. It runs me down, makes me feel sick and controls my mind. I, like you, am not a large person - - - but this inability to control myself, is controlling me, as is the uncertainty of when weight could pile on. Im not a vain person normally - but you cant help it when you always feel so heavy because you just cant say no. I appreciate your honesty and your insight on how damaging this is. It was exactly what I needed to read at the exact right moment. thank you for being obedient in being transparent - if nothing more, it was for me.
Be blessed,
natalie
Hi, Rose, I just had to post. I have recently come to realize that I am sugar sensitive, i.e. my body does not process sugar well; this is a biochemical, addictive reaction, not a gluttony/sin thing. I had horrible moodswings, emotional, etc. I craved food, sweets, etc and had no self control. I gained weight. I prayed for willpower; I dieted. I quit dieting. I cried out to God repeatedly. I got my answer at the end of last year. I am now on my way to cutting out sugar, but more importantly, to balancing my biochemistry. I am doing what is called Radiant Recovery. www.radiantrecovery.com.
Stephen is like Joel. No sugar issues... can eat whatever and not crave. I am like you... except I HAVE gained a lot of weight because of life changes and imbalance and just being lost as to why I have always felt crazy and nuts around food... or just so different from everyone else.
I am feeling really good these days... more stable, happy, not depressed as much, etc. and I know things will get better; I'm on step 3 of balancing myself again, and it's a long but good road. Here's the checklist I used to determine that I'm sugar sensitive:
Am I Sugar Sensitive?
See Which Apply to YOU
I really like sweet foods
I eat a lot of sweets
I am very fond of bread, cereal, popcorn or pasta
I have problem with alcohol or drugs
I am in recovery from alcohol or drug addiction
One or both of my parents are alcoholic
One or both of my parents are/were especially fond of sugar
I am overweight and don't seem to be able to easily lose the extra pounds
I continue to be depressed no matter what I do
I often find myself overreacting to stress
I have a temper or short fuse
I answered yes to 7 of these; I began eating breakfast with protein (enough each morning) and complex carb... that has changed my life. I know this might sound nuts, Rose, but sugar sensitive people are literally wired differently... and respond differently to sugar. You are not a horrible glutton who has no willpower; from what I know of you, in fact, you are a bright, capable, loving person who has done lots of things that required willpower. Same with me... only thing I couldn't get a handle on was food. And realizing that I am different and that I can come into balance is good... I feel closer to God as well. Feel free to email me anytime. I also have a blog about this stuff... and life... http://becomingradiant.blogspot.com.
It's very honest about how God/Christianity and all of this come together for me...
Hugs,
lisa
Rose,
You're not alone. Thanks for being honest. God bless you.
Sincerely,
Jeff