Another issue that I run into when I think about gender is God's role for each gender in marriage. I read the bible and I know that a wife should submit to her husband and the the husband is the head of the house. How should this practically play itself out. In my marriage I would say that Joel is dominant. He's definitely not domineering or aggressive just dominant. We discuss any larger decisions but usually we end up going his direction. This isn't because I'm passive or a doormat. It's just that usually I see that his way is better. He also tends to have a bigger picture view when it comes to decisions that need to be made. I respect this aspect in him. In these ways I think that he is the head of our house.
Submission in marriage is hard for me to do. The majority of the time we just discuss things and come to a mutual agreement. We have rarely had situations where he has actually told me to do something and he's never told me 'this is the way it's going to be'. The handful of times where Joel has told me what to do have been in situations where after the fact I can see that it was totally warranted. I think that it has always been in big fights where I've lost all perspective and I'm being a big fat butt head. He's told me to that I need to go take some time to gather myself before I do anything else that I'll regret. Unfortunately I've dismally failed at submitting in these situations.
Really I think that a lot of this comes down to respect. Joel is the best husband I could ever imagine. He's gentle and yet firm. He calls me into line when necessary. I want to show him the respect that he deserves. Do any of you have thoughts on the roles in marriage. Either insights from the bible or just your opinions are welcome.
Recently I've been reading Dobson's book "Bring Up Boys". I'm not a huge fan of Dobson and there are a lot of things that I'm finding rather annoying about his opinion but I wanted something to feed my thoughts on masculinity and femininity. I feel rather confused about this issue. I can see that so much of what we deem as masculine or feminine is merely cultural but then when I think more deeply about it I'm not so sure. Are women really more emotional then men? In my marriage that is definitely the case but I think that that could be chalked up to different home environments. I certainly know plenty of emotional guys. I'm trying to come to a better understanding of what it means to be feminine and also how I should raise my kids. What aspects of femininity are appropriate to encourage in my daughter and what aspects are cultural hang ups that should be discouraged. The same goes for my son. I've got more to think about on this subject. What are your thoughts on femininity and masculinity?